Dear anka's joy. Print E-mail
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Written by Fomi   

Does life need a force to run or it does so at it's own pace? Do relationships culminate for the reason they are destined to or because people work on them? Do people fall out despite feeling for each other or they throw away what they have begun to take for granted?? Not knowing what losing it might entail. Life teaches us in bounty which we refuse to take sitting down, challenge everything that is destined or what we make for ourselves. 
I have an experience to share which right now is like a lump in my chest, tears willing to stream down at the slightest provocation, a heavy heart which was once enthused and effused with love now feels unsuited to feel any kind of emotion. Feels dead inside! A numbness caused by the mindless pursuit of my friend to satiate his desires, unfailing boost of ego and to nestle himself in the comforting league of people around him.
An old time friend that he is suddenly finds his life with me a drag along, he is looking for adventure, a pasture which has not been tread upon by him, a woman who is worthy of his idealogies. Suddenly, all that I did becomes minuscule, my feelings don't deter him from delving into the next step of indulgence. He recklessly goes on to tell her how fond he has got of her, plans trips outdoors, fixes another set of dates where he conveniently would have her in her tow. AND, all this in one meeting? HOW, how men are charmed so much by a woman that they are willing to throw away all that they had with their previous ones. How lying becomes an integral part of their life with you, how guile they get in their dealing with you? Everything seems farce,everything that happened becomes subatomic.
I feel like a spurned lover who has been shunned to depths unknown. I have become the worst example of myself..pat come his words. I want to sink in the very ground I tread on. It hurts, like nothing I can describe, plunging into an abyss of dark and gloom that engulfs my being. Whereas he seeing me in such pitiable state takes pity and tells the girl in order to finish up with her "I like you, but you love...."

Tell me , does this sound like ending a relationship or telling the other person to dump whom she loves and go for him? He maintains he planted himself away from her by saying that.
Does it sound or seems even close to his interpretations?? I am very sure it doesn't ! What say you all ?? While everyones brains are being chewed with thoughts of what idealistically was the right choice, I go douse myself with couple of vodka shots, to drown the pain inflicted on me. The stinging sensation in the throat soon resulted in me feeling like I was sinking...I flail my arms and yelp for help which probably went unheard...tears streaming , choking, gasping for breath, my failing strength trying to reach out for someone....


With a bump on my head and a bruised elbow I am peeled out of the world where I would never want to be. Phew!!! With a sigh of relief that it was just a dream I try to embalm myself to the soothing world of pleasurable sleep which now eludes me. And what the heck..are dreams so philosophical?

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0 #2 Anando 2012-03-26 05:55
hmm interesting article but I bet the story has two sides of it and sitting here we cant see the dark side of the moon.
0 #1 Renu 2012-03-23 16:28
It doesn't! He is two timing. Unworthy of you. ...forget him and move on however painful. And if it's a dream ..thank god for it !

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