Where is my Money? Print E-mail
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Written by Anando   

How many times have you heard people enquiring from you about your source of monetary bliss. "So, Where do you work these days? What do you do?" I always have this great urge of saying something equally irritating in return like "I stand on the roof and throw spitballs at people and at the moment am in search of a good sponsor for my random spitfire project". However unfortunately most of the time due to pressures of norms of this society I was content by giving an honest generic answer . "I am a web designer and I have my own startup company". Here is the kicker , I did start the company but it refuses to go "Up".

Anyways, that said insulting my own business capabilities what I really wanted to do was explain people what I honestly do. Many people just nod with an open blank face when they hear the words "Web Designer" and I quickly respond, Its related to websites on the internet. What I actually want to say is , " I am a bottom feeding web consultant , IT webmaster , providing dynamic and static content providing methods with CMS or Non CMS provisions" but that obviously would lead to more open blank face head nodding so instead I reply by saying "I am in computers" and you see their faces light up like they just understood what E= mc(square) truly means.
So today I am going to attempt and hopefully succeed in explaining what I honestly do but with appropriate case study and examples and coloured graphs. NO! dont leave yet, Fine Fine, no Graphs, just bare with me for few paragraphs.

*TANDADAA*Insert awesome trumpet and drumbeat sound here*TANDADAA*

I shall now cook up a useful and appropriate examplarary fictional character to explain my life's only income source. Lets call him Andy.

Andy is a geek who has spend half of his life on computers. Let that be gaming, designing , coding or simply procrastination watching inappropriate material on the ARPANET(incase you are wondering what that is, please google it). Andy then realised that his hobby was soon turning into an useful income earning source by friends and relatives constantly paying him to do things on the internet which he did anyways. Andy kept working partime till finishing his basic education and college then finally deciding to take the plunge into the most common rat race of India "the race to information technology mountain, we are a strong population of some 100 million idiots from the guy who knows how to hold a mouse to the guy who made USB".

One day Andy is sitting in his office trying to get work when he suddenly realises his girlfriend's birthday is coming up. Andy checks his pocket and to his dismay finds it to be as full as the promises of an Indian neta. He realises he is in dire need of money to purchase gifts for his beautiful girlfriend or he will have to face revolt of epic proportions in forms of "Non violent disassociation" and "Random complaints of Non caring attitude". He panics and starts searching for work online.

A Dvd and Music production company in LA, California has just launched a movie DVD (called ABC) and Music CD(called XYZ) for the world to enjoy but it is in desperate need of an online presence in form of a website. It contacts a mid level Web Designing company in california itself to come in for a meeting. After a quick and rigigorous bout of fruitfull meetings the price of the two websites for the two products has been settled at $1000 each. Fair enough price of a 24/7 advertising medium at the reach of every man woman and child who can get access to a cpu and a monitor. The only demand by the music production company is that it should be proffesional looking and it should be completed over the weekend.

The company then hands the job over to its best creative design manager and his team to handle this "small" project to the best of their abilities but wait, the creative design manager's son has a soccer match and if his son's team wins, he has promised to go on a hike with him over the weekend and true enough, his aspiring Kaka wins the match with two self goals by the other team. Dad and son duo are off to a hike. Junior manager is pissed, he and his new girlfriend were to go club hopping on saturday and then probably get lucky at night on the basis of a drunk woman but now he has to slog due to the over load of his boss's work being piled up on him. He remembers his friend's wife who is now in Australia with her newborn daughter. The wife of the friend (lets call her Jane) was a full time web designer but now stays at home and works from home and also acts as the super mom who can juggle 40 things together including taking full time care of their new bundle of joy. The junior manager offloads 75% of the work to Jane and decides to pay from his own pocket but who cares right? he can finally get lucky with that hottie.

Jane is not to keen to work but needs the extra money for all the diapers but we have another jumbled situation here. Her daughter just sneezed twice. So she needs to rush to 6 different doctors but what about the work? No problem she is in good contact with a web designing firm in Gurgaon who will handle the work. Jane was getting paid $300 for the project so she decideds to give $125 to the firm in Gurgaon to handle all her work.

The Gurgaon firm is more than happy to oblige. It quickly accepts the project and makes a review for the project. Writes down what needs to be done, details everything categorically from the first colour pallete to what coding languages must be used and forwards all the data to their flash and xhtml/css designer BUT WAIT another twist in the story. Their flash designer's father has a hair transplant surgery because he found Sehwag looking exceptionally young after his hair transplant and the father's next door neighbour's mother is quite the hottie for a 60 year old.

OMGWTF! catastrophe...not only will the gurgaon firm lose its project and money , they will also lose the trust of their long term American born Australian resident super mom web designer. Have no fear, freelancers/small time webdesign companies are here. The company director, who is the regional boss of a full faculty of 6 actual useful workers and 24 "shoved into IT college by fathers with promises of lots of money" procrastination noobs shoots of a demand for the required work on a freelancer site.

ENTER Andy**TANDADAA**

He reads the job description, works hard, writes two page intro, 1 page job description,1 page timeline, 1 page conclusion and 1 page terms of condition. Mails it to the client attaching portfolio and work list. Client checks out two websites from the portfolio of 44 websites , doesnt read a single page, informs Andy that he is one of the shortlisted guys and the project will be provided to him if he decides to work for $60 instead of his bid amount of $120. The client also promises great long term work(but in all honesty never to be heard from again after the project is done). Poor Andy has no option, agrees to work for $60.Andy works all night for his well deserved seriously low paid $60 , gets flak from his girlfriend for being too busy and not being able to go shopping for her birthday gift.

Next morning delivers project to client, client checks and sends 40 revisions while watching youtube and drinking coffee. Andy obliges in lure of the $60. Does the 40 revisions and sends the revisions back and waits for client to pay. After a long wait Andy realises the client isnt paying so he informs the client that the coding has easter eggs installed(secret codes) which will popup nude pictures of fat women if they try to use the code without his consent. The client relents, quickly pays Andy. Andy removes easter eggs. Andy is elated with his $60. Quickly goes out to the mall and visits a music and movie shop. Finds item movie DVD (called ABC) and Music CD(called XYZ) on sale, purchases it for $50 , fills petrol worth $10 goes to his girlfriends house, gives her a big hug , a small kiss and a great big wish of "happy birthday" and hands her Item XYZ and ABC as her birthday gift.

Dear Andy, you just got royally screwed. So now that you people are aware of the occupational hazzards of my work and what I do for a living please read my articles and hopefully they will be successful enough one day for me to leave my day job.

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Comments 

 
0 #8 Anando 2009-11-18 22:48
So I have heard unforunate is the case that my tragedy is turned into comic personification
 
 
0 #7 Rajeshwari DasGupta 2009-11-18 21:19
this onez definitely the best!
 
 
0 #6 Anando 2009-11-10 17:51
I think thats irrelevant..I believe my point was that i gave back my money from the main source from where it actually came....basically i earned $10 after I did 75% of the work for which actually $2000 were spent by the main client. Though this may be an exaggeration...this is what happens in a more acceptable form, but if u must know if they were purchased by me..they had to be something good ;)..say the shawshank redepmtion and Our Lady Peace..and yes I get highly ripped off...so have a good laugh on that because I just get pissed
 
 
0 #5 Prathum Saraf 2009-11-10 17:36
awesome article!!
very well written
and dont mind me saying but....
U GET RIPPED OFF DUDE!!!
and i was wondering what kind of movie and audio cd those were
that could actually determine if ur work paid off in the end
 
 
0 #4 Anando 2009-11-09 19:07
thx u thx u all, I felt my articles were getting too heavy ..hence I felt let me tell you all about the comical world of outsourcing!
 
 
+1 #3 Renu 2009-11-09 19:06
And your girlfriend was happy with the $50 gift? U should be happy with this fact if she was Mr. Andy.As for the occupational hazards, well...its kind of ok if u can make 3K working one night...its just that Andy did'nt game or watch his fav inappropriate material for one night .
Way to go Andy ...make and spin money as fast as you can ...isnt that what outsourcing meant...hmmm...aint I right?
Jokes apart, A well written article which people who know you must have heard umpteen nos times :)
 
 
+1 #2 2009-11-09 14:13
good one bro.... nice site and super article.... keep writing, soon we'll get to read books written by you...:D
 
 
0 #1 Anando 2009-11-09 10:18
oh and if someone really does want web services and is willing to pay more than bottom $$ plz check http://www.netsparkz.com/

thx
 

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